Cycle 13 and The Crossroads

Well, cycle 13 seems to be here. I really thought I was pregnant. I had severe breast tenderness, sudden overwhelming nausea, my temps were up....I was going to get a pregnancy test Friday (15th), but on Wednesday, I started spotting. Forget the test. I figured it could, maybe, might be implantation. But then there were some clots. Yuck, I know. TMI. But, I figured I was out for the cycle at that point. AF has been teasing me for days with her impending appearance. I spot, then I don't. What gives? I'm guessing it may be the beginnings of menopause. Crap. I am SO not ready for that! I hate having to wear pads, when there's really nothing going on, but, if I don't wear one then AF would blast me for sure and it wouldn't be pretty. Thank goodness I'm a stay-at-home Mama. I can remedy those problems without too much ado. But, still. What woman wants to get caught without her under armor on? Not, I, Popeye!

So, I have come to a crossroads. My husband will be thrilled. If, I tell him. I may not. Just because I might change my mind. Maybe. I have decided to get rid of 90% of the baby stuff. I have two cribs out in the shop. Two porta-cribs, a high chair, exersaucer, swing, infant seat, car seat, bouncy seat, various baby toys, tons of clothes, three ginormous boxes of Pampers diapers from the baby shower (he's three and potty trained now), and I'm sure there's more, but I just can't think of it off the top of my head. But, it goes to say, I have a lot of stuff out there, and it's taking up precious real estate. I'm debating on having a yard sale (ugh. i hate doing yard sales.), or consigning it. Not sure which way I want to go. The nearby Jack & Jill consignment isn't for a couple of months...I'll have to think about it. In the mean time, I'll be going through all of it and setting it aside.

Side note..my very best friend laughed at me when I told her I had come to this decision...as I'm sure those of you who are reading this have already thought it...She said, and I quote.."If you get rid of it all, then you'll just have to buy it again. You know that's how it works. You get rid of it, and then you get pregnant."

Murphy, I like that law.

Cycle #10..TWW...still waiting.

I'm 6 days away from cycle #11. Yesterday, I let my hopes get the best of me. I tested. It was 7 days before my next cycle date. Too early. But, I did it anyway. I used a FRER. Can you guess what my answer was?

Big.Fat.Negative.

Yep. Exactly what I expected. But, I was still hoping that maybe, just maybe, it would be a squinter.

 A ghost line. 

But, it was negative as always.

According to the package instructions and claims, I could test today. Day 6, before my cycle date. But, I think I'll just wait. Pretty sure I'm not pregnant. So, why rush the inevitable. I always hope that I'm wrong. There's always a chance that I'm wrong. I'll test on Saturday. That would put me at the day before my cycle starts. 

Wish me luck!

Tag! I'm it!

She did it. She found me. Tag? OH YEAH. She done tagged me good! She's done laid me out! AF has hit me with a vengeance. She can be quite vindictive. So, needless to say, I'm out of hope for this cycle. I finally started, for real, yesterday/last night. I am having a really heavy cycle right now. I just wish it would get back to normal. That would be nice.

What the Heck?

Weird stuff going on here. My cycles have pretty much been the same for what seems like forever. I would start with a few days of spotting then have a couple of days of heavy bleeding, then a moderate day, then spotting and done. Four cycles ago it got weird. I just had brown icky, sticky spotting for the whole week. The next month it was normal. Then another brown, icky, sticky cycle. Now this one started of with a bang. Straight to bleeding and small clots. That was on Wednesday. Yesterday, B.I.S. again. Now today, spoting. What gives? Maybe it's my age. Maybe I'm heading in to the perimenopausal stage. 

No bueno.

Not happy.

:(