Tubal Reversal

I had my tubal ligation the day after my fourth birth child. 
I rue the day.
It caused me plenty of pain. Both physically and mentally.
By the time my cycles returned (my son was 9 mo old when they came back),
they were messed up.At first they were just irregular. Then they became, too, regular. 
They started coming every two weeks. This lasted for several months. I went in to Dr. Idjit (names have been changed to protect the stupid) and he deemed it as a hormonal problem. He put me on birth control pills. How ironic.
After three months of no change, he suggested a d&c.
I went in and had that done.
He said that I probably wouldn't have a period the next month. Because I was all "cleaned out". 
He was wrong. Big surprise.
I had my next cycle two weeks later. Right on time.
I went back in for my 6 week check-up. I told him it didn't work. 
He said to give it a couple of months.
Was he for real!?
If I didn't get some change in the next couple of months, then we would have to consider a....
wait for it.....waaaaaait for it......
partial hysterectomy.
He already removed crucial parts of my motherhood!
Now he wanted bigger parts!
I told him that I was one of those small percentage of women who regret their decision to have a tubal, and that I felt I was having PTS (post tubal syndrome).
You'd have thought I told him that I'd remove mine as soon as he removed his.
He cleared his throat and jumped up on the proverbial fence.
He waited for me to decide what way to fall off that fence. I was on the side of PTS, he really didn't want to go there, so he changed the subject. He brought it back to reversal. He explained to me.."You already have four children. You might just go ahead and have IVF to have another one. I can give you the names of some doctors who specialize in that. It will cost you the same amount to have the IVF as it would to have a reversal, and with a reversal there aren't any guarantees." 
I almost chocked laughing at him. Was he really serious? Did he really think that I was dumb? What he didn't know was that I was VERY familiar with IVF. My mother had to go through it several times to have my sister and brother. 
I told him that IVF was no guarantee either and that for that price it was a ONE TIME shot, where as the reversal at least gave me as many tries as I had cycles. He looked at me like I had just grown a third eye. He then said that he didn't do reversals and that if I was really interested in one he could recommend someone. We could talk about it at my next visit in eight weeks. If my cycles didn't regulate, and I decided against reversal we would go ahead and talk more about a partial hysterectomy.
I walked out and asked the receptionist for my records. They won't give them to me, they have to send them to my new Dr.
By this point I was ready to scream.
I cried most of the 30 minute drive home.
I cried to my husband. We didn't have the money.
I prayed.
For 6 more years. 
Every day. Every night, Every chance I got I was praying.
I prayed all the time. In the car, the shower, at baseball practice with my son. At his games.
Everywhere. I prayed in church, at dinner out, while I made dinner, while I watched tv. When I read a book. I literally would just say silent prayers at any time, any place.
I prayed all the time.
One night I finally said THE PRAYER.
The prayer where I finally got it. HE had been waiting for me to give it all to him. I finally did. I told him that I couldn't do this anymore. That I was tired. Mentally, emotionally and even physically. The stress of the TL had presumedly caused me to develop another disease called Takayasu's Arteritis. That was a big drain on me as well. I gave my worries to HIM that night. I told HIM that it didn't matter to me how I got another child. Whether by pregnancy or adoption. I would have both my arms and my heart open. If HIS choice was that I wasn't to have any more kids, then I asked for peace. peace in my heart with that decision.
I felt the weight of the world lift off of me as soon as I said AMEN.
One day my  MIL called. She wanted to tell me about my SIL's friend, who had a reversal, and she wanted me to call this woman. I did. Right after we hung up I called this woman. Now let me back up a little bit, I had been having an episode of insomnia a while back and had stayed up with my buddy, t.v. I came across a channel showing a woman's journey through tubal reversal. It was a documentary showing thw whole surgery process. Of course this was on at like 2 in the morning. Who else would be up to watch a surgery. They showed it all. Then they advertised the Dr's website for a free copy. I ordered one.
Back to the original story....
So I called this woman, heard her story, she had flown acroos the states, had the surgery, and had had a couple of m/c's at that point. No successful pregnancies, at that time. But she had used the SAME Dr as I had watched on t,v, and wanted to do my surgery if I ever got to do it!
That was my first ah-ha moment.
I emailed the Dr and told my history. What I knew of it. I didn't actually know what my ligation details were. He never asked. He got as far as hearing where I told him I had to take prednisone daily, and said "when you get off your meds then I can help you."
Are you for real?!!!!!
I bawled when I read that. I cried and cried.
I was on prednisone indefinitely.
That's when my second ah-ha moment came.
Get a second opinion.
I looked up the second choice Dr.
He was one state away, as the other Dr had been as well.
His price was more that's why he was my second choice.
But after reading his stats on pregnancy success after surgery, and seeing the comparison of his surgery compared to the other Dr's and his reasons why he did things differently, I emailed.
I got a reply the next day
 Yes, we can help you.
All I needed now was the funds.
I applied for a loan, and got it.
I then set the date for surgery. Same day as my Tubal Buddy, Lori.
She and I became fast friends through Dr. Levin's chat forum for his patients.
We're still good friends.
She went on to have three babies.
Lost one.
I've had two, lost four.
Anyways, back to story...
I got my date set, then I waited.
When the day arrived (my MIL was with me) I went in for the surgery.
I had a migraine before, from fasting. They gave me some meds, then I had surgery and woke up sick.
Back at the hotel, I was throwing up. Yuck.
Dr.Levin, came to the hotel to check on us patients the next morning before we went home. He commented that he'd never had a patient get that sick before, and also asked if I was born without stomach muscles.
He mentioned that when he does some stitching that he attaches to the stomach muscles.. and couldn't find mine. OH COME ON!!!!! You don't put a woman through basic c-section and then make her bust out laughing! I was trying so hard not to laugh, and it hurt like crazy. I told him no, no, I had stomach muscles, but they were now somewhere around back, since they had separated and become useless. I still need to work on those. Butthen he hit me with another doozy...
While I was working on your fallopian tubes I notices that there was a layer of fat, much like that yellow fat you find in chickens....
Did he just say my fallopian tubes are fat?!
Ok, now I'm really hurting from laughing.
I am truly one of a kind.
I get sick.
I have no stomach muscles.
My fallopian tubes are fat.
I'm special.

I got pregnant about 8 months later.
I lost that pregnancy. (2006)
Then I got pregnant again 3 months later. Had a boy. (2006)
Got pregnant again. Had a boy. (2008)
Got pregnant again and lost it. (2010)
Got pregnant 4 months later, lost it. (2010)
Got pregnant again, 6 months later. Lost it. (2011)