Cycle 20 over and out....

yep. my cycle started two days after my last post. ok i count it as three since i started at 9:30 at night. i just count start day being the next day, the 11th. it wasn't too bad as periods CAN go. but i was just hoping against hope that it wouldn't happen. i figured that if i was pregnant then the baby would be roughly a month old before we made the trip to california. if we even make that trip. still planning on it. gonna be rough to make that happen. anyhoo....i supposedly o'd last thursday. not sure if i did or not. that's just by going with the website calculator. it's been pretty accurate with my other methods added. i lost my ovulation scope (aka spit tester). bummer. and my test strips sat in a frozen bathroom. not sure if they'd be any count anymore. double bummer. so...all i can say is that the supposed week of o was covered every other day before and after. wish me luck! =)

Cycle 20...?

I'm guessing my age is changing my cycles. I used to spot the day before, then I'd have my period for five days and be done. Now I never know what the blast is coming at me! I have had as much as a week and a half of spotting, to none. I have had 2-3 days of bleeding to as many as 5. I used to have ONE day of heavy bleeding, now it can be up to 3-4. I just NEVER know what it's going to be.

My theory......pre-menopausal.

That sucks.

Only because I want to get pregnant. If I hadn't lost the last three pregnancies, or at least the last one...I would be saying BRING IT ON! Let's get this show on the road! Git 'Er Done! End this crap!

But, I still feel the intense need to have a baby. I know that sounds crazy. Some who might read this will think I have lost my mind. That I'm being completely selfish. But I say to those people...Bite Me! You haven't walked my path! You haven't tried on my shoes! You didn't hold my babies in your hand. Yes, hand. They were so small they could be held in ONE hand. The palm of ONE hand. You didn't bury those babies. You didn't plant flowers under the tree where they are buried. You have no idea what I have gone through emotionally, mentally, or physically. So pipe down. Thank you.

So, not sure if this is cycle 20 yet or not. Don't know what friggin day I'm on. Don't know if I should take the soy or not....just don't know.

So today, I start the garage clean out. All the baby stuff that I'm NOT keeping is headed to consignment. I am motivated. I have my son and his family moving here in 3.5 weeks. Ohboy. I have so much to do!!! I have to clean out the one house as well as the garage to put the stuff from the house. OY. Wish I wasn't such a pack rat right now. Our weather is in the high 60's today, pushing 70 (!), so I HAVE to get on it! The only problem is that it's raining! Grrrrrrr!

So, after all my babbling, I guess I'm just whining about whether or not my period has started or not.

New Year...New Hope?

So...Happy New Year! Let's hope it truly is!
Just last week my Honey made a profound comment to me.
He felt that his testosterone levels were down, and "that's probably why you're not getting pregnant"
SAY WHAT??!! I never once thought that the lack of pregnancy had anything to do with him. I figured it was my pre-menopausal self, and poor timing. Trying to catch the ever elusive egg!
So without any real discussion about pregnancy...we headed to GNC and he got some stuff for boosting his testosterone. Me? Oh I snuck in a couple bottles of Soy and Evening Primrose. If I knew he was fully on board with trying and not just happenstance, I would have opted for the Fertility Blends! So, I started the EP and will start the Soy next week. I have also been taking Maca daily. I did notice the last time I tried it (and gave up too early) that it seemed to seriously increase my libido. Just sayin!

It has officially been 19 cycles. I'm heading into the 20th next week. I'm praying that this new year (my official last) will bring one last baby. Full term Thank You! A girl would be nice, but I'll take a boy any day!

We're temporarily moved out of our main house into the mobile home. We're going to finish moving 15 years worth of crap out of there, then start on the major renovations! I CAN'T WAIT!!!! During this time our oldest son will be moving out here and staying with us, helping in the reno. Then when things are settled his wife and kids will be moving here as well. Did I mention that I can't wait!!!????

So, in order to move all of the crap out of the house, we also have to go through all of the crap in the garage! UGH!!! I am sorely hating this idea. I'm a pack rat. I save everything, mostly due to procrastination. I'll get to that later...put it in a box....move it out to the garage for now, I'll go through it later....Well guess what my friends! Later has just come callin! A bunch of what's out there is baby stuff. Which I will be sorting through ruthlessly! My son and his wife don't need any of it (I asked), so I will be selling it either in consignment or yard sale. Honey wants SOME of the money back for it all! Can't say I blame him...Then there's all the craft crap.....boxes and boxes of it! Of course there's plenty of holiday stuff....books..If you know me this will make you smile. How could I NOT have boxes and boxes of books?! Besides all THAT, there are plenty of boxes of clothes, toys and miscellaneous (we won't discuss the misc.!) So, needless to say..I have my work cut out for me, and the older kids as well. Hey! Some of all that crap-ola is theirs!!!

So during this mega clean sweep...I will either be having my period.....or not.
If not...then I don't know how much I will be willing to exert myself. I might just plant myself in the soon to be junked recliner and have the kids bring boxes to me.....

Did I mention that it in the low 30's and the garage is detached without heat? Fun times my friends..fun times!

Hope ya'll had a great New Year's and here's to a great one!!